Apple to publish books

Computer firm and music distributor Apple are planning to branch out into print publishing. Their new book publishing arm, iPage, will publish works related to design, music, and computing. However, Apple are concerned about the possibilities of their books being copied, lent, and pirated. They have therefore announced the following security measures:

• The book can only be read in three rooms of the reader's house. For instance, a reader may read an iPage book in their bedroom, in the living room, and even take it into the toilet, but will not be allowed to lend it to their son who has a separate bedroom. Flats and apartments are not yet supported.
• Apple are to introduce Analogue Rights Management (ARM). The books will be printed using offset red and blue ink in a similar manner to 3D images in order to ensure that unauthorised readers cannot access the books. Special iGlasses will be needed to read the content.

Steve Jobs was unavailable for comment as he was busy counting his money. However, a spokesperson said that "these measures are entirely reasonable and are necessary to protect the material that Apple publishes and encourage the creativity of its authors". He went onto say that the books' covers will look "very pretty".